Okay, now where was I? Oh, yes, Ana’s mini-breakdown….
After doing my best to calm her, I attempted to find out just what had her so upset, but she refused to tell me. So instead I decided that possibly if I sat and worked on the problems with her she might calm down a bit. That is when it hit me, when I understood all the angst, the frustration, the tears. She didn’t get it, she was so lost as to what she was supposed to be doing it had overwhelmed her. How had I let this go on so long? Why did I not see she was struggling? Was it because I am a math geek and naturally assumed as my daughter she was too? Or was it even worse, had I pressured her so much that she was afraid to tell me she didn’t understand? Neither realization was good, and believe me, I felt like such a failure as a parent at that point. Frankly I was at a loss for what to do at the moment. There was no way we were going to accomplish anything with her as upset as she was, and she made it clear she was not open to me helping her, so I figured a break would be the best option. Around that time her father showed up. He was taking her ice skating for her birthday, which she had been looking forward to immensely, and of course my stupid ass had to bring up what had just transpired. This of course sent her into fresh waves of frustration and sobbing. It was looking pretty grim at that point. Just then the phone rang, it was my sons coach letting me know they were here so I could let Xav into the building. I sent Ana down to let him in so I could talk to her dad about what had happened without all the emotion. I had just finished explaining what was going on when they walked in, and that is when it began, the start of the next awesome event of the day.
Xav came in full of the usual teenage angst, but one look at my face he knew something was wrong and switched gears almost automatically. As he got settled I gave him a brief synopsis of what had occurred prior to his arrival so he would understand what was going on and not feel as if it involved him. Then he did the most amazing thing. My big bad teenage son called his little sister over to him, got her settled on his lap, and began to help her, to teach her, to calm her down. It was a truly awesome sight to see the patience, compassion and concern he was showing her. The fact that finals are coming up for him and he is overloaded already, yet he still took the time to console his sister. It was one of the most touching things I have ever seen. He reached her in a way I had been unable to. He was able to calm her and get her to take a fresh look at what was troubling her. Not only did he ease the obvious frustration she was feeling, but he did so in such a way that she did not feel stupid for not getting it, something I unfortunately had failed at. In that moment I realized just how blessed I am to have the children I do. They may squabble at times, fight like cats and dogs, but when the chips are down they always have each others backs. As a mom there is nothing more I could ask for than to see that connection. As you can see, even when things look bad to begin with, sometimes they turn out for the best…
Ana was now back in the high spirits of earlier in the day, for it was almost time to leave for ice skating. She had finished getting dressed to go and I asked her to go see if the UPS man was here yet with the package that was scheduled to be delivered. She had been gone longer than usual to check so her father went to check on her, and when the two of them had not returned I went to check. As I stepped out into the hallways I was greeted with the sight of a beaming mini clutching a package tightly to her chest, commenting on how heavy it was, and her dad speaking with the UPS man. After the obligatory signing for the package we all came back into the apartment. Someone cut through the packing tape and mini was now holding a brightly wrapped package all but drooling with anticipation. As she tore into the paper I was anxious to see how she would react. You see, this gift had come from a friend of mine, and was actually her Christmas present, unfortunately Amazon had it back ordered for some time. The fact that it arrived on her birthday was a blessing, especially considering how rough it had been. As soon as she had the paper partially removed her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. It was the complete full color Little House series in a case. She had been wanting it for ages. She almost gave up ice skating with her dad to stay home and read it, but I convinced her to go skating, telling her she would have time to read it when she got home.
As she left for skating, I began to contemplate the day. My first thoughts were on the package that had just arrived, sent by a friend of mine who I had met online. We’ve never met, and have only spoken once, yet he went out of his way to care about me and my kids. In my world people don’t do this, people don’t go out of their way for people like me. It was a random act of kindness that blew me away. With that realization I started to look back on the day, seeing that throughout the day I had been showered with random acts of kindness and hadn’t even noticed, hadn’t appreciated them at the time. Then it hit me, I have become far too jaded, cynical, pessimistic as of late, and I need to stop that. I need to stop looking at the glass as half full, it’s just not worth it. I need to be open with myself, my children, my friends, with everyone. I need to start embracing the joys in life rather than casting them aside as flukes.
There were still more blessings which I haven’t listed, phone calls for Ana from unexpected places wishing her the happiest of birthdays, virtual friends expressing joyful wishes for her, friends taking time out of their busy lives to brighten my day for no other reason than they could, the promise of skating lessons, I could go on and on, but I won’t. The point is, it was a truly amazing day. Sure it had some rough spots, but the simple acts of human kindness more than made up for them by correcting them. It’s days like this that make me remember for the most part people are inherently good, we simply need to open ourselves to them fully in order to embrace it.
