Nope, I’m not dead…
I didn’t join a cult…
I haven’t begun my secret quest for world domination…
I did not win the lottery and get my yurt, Sherpa, and yaks…
I haven’t holed up in a remote mountain cabin and had an armed standoff with the feds…
I haven’t become a blind Obama supporter….
I have been going through a rather difficult, yet necessary, time in my life, which I hope to share once I have gained some much needed perspective. That being said, I am back, somewhat, and getting better, so don’t give up on me, k?
In the midst of my craptastic life I find myself witnessing rays of sunshine everywhere… My daughter and son topping the list of the bright spots. Today my son turns 17 and while that makes me feel old as hell, the joy he has brought me over the years is beyond compare. As for my daughter, well just watch and you’ll see (:
Not much to say today, had a nice afternoon with the little one at the park. Gorgeous weather, especially for April, felt more like June. Anyways Ana had a blast as did George…
Meet George..
The day was so gorgeous even her hands were smiling...
Today was a light day at school for her. They got to dress down due to the campus clean up they were doing in honor of Earth Day, so it was an extra treat when we continued her outdoor activities with a stop at the park on the way home. If only I could convince her that gathering sticks for a bonfire in a city park is pointless. However whenever I point it out to her she always responds with…. “Well how am I supposed to cook the bird for dinner then?”
What I wouldn’t give to recapture the imagination of a child. The days were so much simpler then. I just hope she hold onto it as long as she possibly can, for reality is often dirty and painful. Oh well, she’s young, she’s happy, she shares her joy with everyone, that’s all that really matters isn’t it?
Prom season is upon us once again, time for our young people to blow exorbitant amounts of money on a single night. To buy dresses they will never wear again, to dance to music that will make them cringe in a few years, to rent limos, hotel rooms, etc… all in the hopes of impressing (and possibly scoring with) that special someone. Ah to be young again….
Anyways…
For me Prom Season means one thing, Duck Tape. Yep, you read correctly, I said Duck Tape. All over America the creative among our youth, the innovative, the ones who think outside the box, dedicate themselves to creating the perfect prom outfit(s) completely made of Duck Tape. It isn’t just for show either, over $20,000 in scholarship money is up for grabs too. The creativity and hard work exhibited by the individuals daring enough to be different is astounding. Kinda makes me wish I wasn’t too old for Prom now…
Here are a few of my favorites from over the years…
Stuck At Prom is not only an excellent way for young adults to showcase their creativity and assert themselves as individuals but it can be quite lucrative as well for those who are wondering just how they will pay for college. I can’t wait until my little one is old enough for prom, neither can she for she is already designing the Duck Tape Gown of her dreams…..
Silence is golden, or so they say. Biting ones tongue rather than expressing ones thoughts, opinions, feelings, etc… is looked upon as a sign of maturity. Holding back what one feels has become the socially acceptable norm it would seem. Society frowns upon displays of emotion, it is as if joy or sorrow, pain or pleasure, love or hate, all of them should be kept under lock and key so to speak. Shielded from the prying eyes of others. Why? When did we become so disdainful of human emotion? When did we lose our sense of empathy? I want to share my joy, share my love, share my hopes and dreams. I want others to share theirs as well. I fully accept that by wanting to share the positives with and of others means I must share the sorrows, frustrations, and pains as well. I am willing to do that though, for I fully embrace my empathy, my humanity, my soul. Locking away what one feels is not healthy nor wise. Putting on a stoic mask and portraying oneself as emotionless only serves to separate one from society, to further isolate the individual. We are all in this together, it’s far past time we started acting like it.
Share your joy, share your grief, I will laugh with you, I will be the shoulder you can cry on.
Share your dreams, share your nightmares, I will encourage you, I will soothe you.
Share yourself with the world and the the world share itself with you. No one is an island, no one can exist in pure solitude. Let others in, let others erase the silence in your soul.
Back to the daily grind, not altogether welcome either. Spring break officially ended at 6:30 this morning. While I will welcome the peace and quiet around the house, I will not welcome the fact that the evil glowing orb is now taking precedence over the magical beautiful moon… But that’s a story for another day. Today it was back to the grind as I said, back the the trek to the bus stop, and as usual my walk with the little one was quite entertaining….
I was a bit perturbed as we left the house to see that the seasons are changing and the evil glowing sky orb is coming earlier and earlier every day. Instead of the usual darkness which shrouds our morning walk I was confronted with the dreaded lightening sky. Matters weren’t helped by Ana letting me know how disappointed she was in the tooth fairy. Too bad the tooth fairy wasn’t aware that her services were needed last night. Luckily as Ana described stuffing the envelope containing her tooth into her dog pillow I was struck with inspiration. I quickly and emphatically explained to her the Tooth Fairy’s utter fear of dogs. I pointed out to her that the Tooth Fairy was so mistrustful of dogs the mere thought of sticker her hand in one to grab her bounty and leave a reward terrified her to her very core. Begrudgingly she accepted my explanation and was soon distracted by the fact I had beef jerky money, so all was well…
Once we arrived at the bus stop Ana assumed her customary perch on the inner curb (far away from the street) and began what I have come to view as her morning broadcast. Who needs NBC when you have a Mini? Today’s commentary was brought to you by the changing of the seasons, which allowed for Ana’s in depth analysis of the cloud formations. The first one she spotted was the Turtle Dragon. As my back was turned to her view I was a bit dumbfounded when she started rambling about Turtle Dragons, which frustrated my little one to no end. After an exasperated sigh and obligatory eye roll she said “The clouds MOM, that one right there looks like a turtle dragon”… Of course not willing to draw her ire any further I turned around and had a look. Wouldn’t you know it, it did look like a turtle with the tail of an oriental dragon. As I was contemplating how wonderful it must be to have such a vivid imagination as my daughter enjoys, she began pointing out other formations she saw, starting with… “That one looks like a socket wrench”. Bless her little grease monkey heart, that made my day, lol. Unfortunately the winds in the upper atmosphere began to pick up at that point, all but destroying the new found sky art… But it all worked out for the bus was turning the corner and it was time for her to leave. After my standard kiss and hug I bade her goodbye as she ran off to board the bus.
As I was walking home I caught a glimpse of a beautiful sunrise and chastised myself for not bringing my camera along. I know, I could have taken a picture with my phone, however recent experience has shown me I would be sorely disappointed with the results so I didn’t bother. I was almost all the way home when I happened to glance down and saw my little friend….
Such a cute little guy, I so wanted to take him home
From the picture I doubt you can tell what the hell it is, so to stop any confusion, it’s a small snake. I really wish the camera on my cell was better, he had such a beautiful patten on his skin, muted, yet striking at the same time… I wanted to bring him home with me, unfortunately I had no where to put him, plus I doubted he would have enjoyed captivity so I let him be….
For all the havoc wrecked by the evil glowing sky orb it has been a decent morning, lets just hope it keeps up….
Yesterday was a craptastic day, and it shouldn’t have been. It should have been a joyful day surrounded by those I love. It wasn’t though, I cocooned myself in my own little world letting the hurt and loathing isolate me. Not once did I open up to the many who care, I just stayed quiet and seethed when they couldn’t figure out the reasons for my silence. All I had to do was just say “Hey, I need you”, or “It’s my Birthday, will you celebrate with me?”. But of course I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t lower myself to asking for what I need, I just expected people to sense it and give it to me. All because I had to be such a stubborn bitch, be such a damn martyr I spent a miserable birthday alone, caught up in pain and doubt of my own creation. What makes it worse as I attacked several of those who would have gladly spent the day with me, I ranted and raved and laid a guilt trip on them for not being mind readers.
If I had to classify what I am doing, identify what makes me act as I do, I don’t know if I could. At times in retrospect I think perhaps I am crushing my dreams, my spirit, my hopes and heart just so no one else has the chance to do so. Self inflicted pain is far easier to manage than pain received from those you love. I can’t handle being let down by those I allow into my heart so I disappoint myself before they even have a chance to prove my misgivings wrong. I keep pushing away every kindness, every helping hand, every compassion offered. I claim over and over I don’t want pity, yet I pity myself for my loneliness, my self imposed solitude. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want to lose anyone else in my life. I don’t want to live with the regrets of not knowing what could be. I don’t want to continue to let my past control my future. I want to be happy for once…
I’m sorry doesn’t cut it, but it’s all I can say. I am so sorry my dear, I truly am, you mean the world to me…
Another year has come and gone, another step closer to World Domination.
I decided though, this year I am NOT getting older. This year I am going to start moving backwards. The way I figure it, but the time I hit two again I’ll be ready for diapers anyways so it’s all good… Plus when I hit my twenties this time around I’ll be able to enjoy them far more than I did the first time.
Supposedly with age comes wisdom, still waiting on that so I can neither confirm nor deny it’s accuracy. I’m still a child at heart so perhaps the wisdom will never come, but that’s ok, I always have world domination to fall back on
Anyways…. Happy Birthday to me and thanks to all my loyal minions for yet another wonderfully evil year
Almost every website you register yourself with, whether it is a social network, a discussion forum, and art site, etc… has a place, or several places, for you to pontificate about yourself, the customary “About Me” section… For me it is a place to showcase my particular brand of insanity. My loves and hates, my hopes, my dreams, my quest for complete and utter world domination…
People think I’m joking when I talk about taking over the world, at least at first, however they quickly realize I am completely serious. One day, with the help of my flying monkeys, ninja attack penguins, acid spitting llamas, and my faithful army of minions I shall conquer earth. No worries though, I will be a kind and benevolent ruler, a Czarina for the ages… The only ones who should fear my wrath are the sheep among us, the blind lemmings who continually follow each other off the cliff. I guess if you really wanted to, one could trace my quest back to Pinky and the Brain, For the Magnificent Brain is my idol, my hero so to speak.
The tenacity of that big-headed little mouse has inspired me, galvanized my spirit. Perhaps the kinship I feel is due to the fact we both share the physical characteristic of abnormally large craniums. Perhaps it is simply that neither of us has a tolerance for purposeful ignorance. Who knows… What I do know is one day, one day soon, I will take over the world and I will eradicate stupidity from the face of the earth…
Anyways… Taking over the world, while it is probably one of my more grandiose stratagem, it is by no means my only plot… I have many hopes and dreams…. Such as a slushie machine of my very own and 50 gallon drums of RockStar Zero Carb to fill it with. Or as mentioned yesterday Great Dahuahuas for everyone!! Of course we can’t forget bacon either, bacon for everyone, crispy crumbly bacon…. Mmmm… Bacon…. Where was I? Oh yeah dreams…. I have tons of plans for my future, some realistic but far away.. ie… Getting my PhD, some intangible such as finding true and lasting happiness. Still others such as my Quest for World Domination which while definitely doable, will take carefully planning and intense preparation. One day I shall have achieved all my goals, then will look back on a fruitful and productive life and remember to thank Brain for all he did, and all he inspired me to do….
Today has been a strange day, while the vibrations ceased long ago, I just haven’t been able to get in my groove. It’s like I’m a train with a wheel or two off the tracks, moving forward, just awkwardly wobbling as I do so. Due to very little blood in my caffeine stream at the moment I can’t concentrate long enough to formulate any serious thoughts, so a long winded pontification is out of the question. Disjointed rambling seems to be the limit of my capabilities today. Random thoughts just thrown together with no rhyme or reason. Like Bacon, bacon is on my mind right now. Nice crispy bacon. In a salad perhaps, not in the mood for it on a sandwich or with eggs. I wish I had some bacon, but alas I do not…
Oh yeah, speaking of bacon, I was talking with a friend today about dogs, and we all know how dogs love bacon, but anyways… I was telling my friend about how I was thinking of going into dog breeding, not regular show dogs, but the designer dogs, you know like the Pomapoo (Pomeranian/Toy Poodle), Buggs (Boston Terrier/Pug), or the Beabull (Beagle/Bulldog)? Except I want to push the envelope, I want to go where no breeder has gone before, I want to create… The Great Dahuahua, a Great Dane mother and a Chihuahua father. I figure all I’ll need is a step stool and a harness, and if that fails turkey basters are cheap… I swear, Great Dahuahuas would be the next big thing… Of course I’m too squeamish to handle the turkey baster if need be so I’ll definitely need to look at outsourcing… Let me know if you think of anyone who might be interested will ya?
Where was I?? Oh yeah bacon… I actually found a picture of a bacon bouquet and have been looking for the creator of said bouquet ever since……
Mmmm..... Bacon....
I mean seriously, what man, or woman for that matter, would turn down bacon? It’s the candy bar of meat. It can easily be served at every meal, hell slap it on a donut and you have dessert too. It’s been made into clothing, art, beer, you name it, you can find a bacon version of it… Anyways I better quit while I’m ahead, before I go off in search of bacon and do something irrational….
